She came up with the good ideas during your creative block. She lost the weight you have worked hard for months to lose. She was noticed by all the Christian men while you wondered if you were forever alone. She was asked to be a part of a team you prayed to be a part of. She got the raise at work that you really have been needing. She is seen when you feel invisible. It feels like the promise YOU got from the Lord is coming to pass, but in HER life. She is bold in starting businesses/clubs/friendships etc., when you feel scared and don’t know where to start.
Too many times I’ve sulked in insecurity, jealousy, and comparison so deeply that pride would not allow me to celebrate with my fellow sisters in Christ as they experienced their victories and accomplishments. I’ve watched others receive the things I’ve only dreamt about. Longed for. Even worked tirelessly for. I’ve grown envious of other women and have stayed in a place of self-pity far longer than I want to think about. I’ve been in a place where every woman had something better than I did for reasons they didn’t deserve (that’s what I told myself anyways).
Now, celebrating others is one of my favorite things to do and the motto “Girls Support Girls” has become a huge part of my ministry. Crazy how the Lord turns your biggest struggle into your ministry right?! Surely, I am not the only one who has dealt with this; or maybe you struggle with these things now. I would love to share with you how the Lord taught (and is still teaching) me to humbly celebrate others and set aside my pride!
The reality of the change that needed to be made sat heavy with me about 2 and a half years ago. I was handed my dream ministry – Her Virtue. A ministry for teenage girls. I realized one of the biggest attacks towards girls/women is jealousy and comparison because the enemy doesn’t want us to be for one another! He fears the power that comes from unified women. With the awareness of this struggle, I wanted to make sure I took action to not contribute to that, SO I begin taking the steps to re-posture my heart.
Let’s break it down. We arrive at this this lifeless, pitiful place of envy by wanting something desperately that we don’t have. I would even like to propose that the root cause is subconsciously idolizing things like; material items, position, titles, and attention a little too much. Without the awareness of being in that place, jealousy and selfish ambition consume you, and disorder takes root and hurts your ability to celebrate others. James 3:16 reads, “For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice.” Do I even need to mention how noticeable an envious and bitter heart is? It ain’t cute! Proverbs 14:30 (NIV) reads; “A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones” Envy eats at you, from the inside out. Also, I would like to add that being in that state does not feel good… so why in the world are we staying here?!?
Having desires is not a bad thing, it’s when they become an idol that we have a problem. I believe the first step in getting past this envious place is to take the first step in seeking contentment in the Father and putting our trust in him. Philippians 4:11-13: “Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me” When you are “triggered” at your sister “winning” remind yourself He is enough. Your promise will come to pass, promotion will come, and victory will be had. In the meantime celebrate with your sisters in Christ while being content with Who God is and what is to come!
Now you could be thinking “I have some work to it” and that is okay!! Awareness is a great beginning to ridding unhealthy desires. Like I said before, living in a place of bitterness and jealousy is not a fun place to be. So let’s not make our bed there! Let’s honor, uplift and celebrate others. Romans 12:15 “Rejoice with those who rejoice…” and 1 Corinthians 12:26 “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together”. Say it loud and clear. I don’t believe these verses are commanding us to do this simply because it the nice things to do. I believe it unifies us in Christ and with one another.